I attempted a job this summer that was quite different from teaching. Bartending at an old-timey bar seemed like the dream summer job, but what I found was that the food and drink industry was different than I imagined. Serving customers was just as I expected...people were gracious and understanding, and when I was serving beer, I felt right at home. Serving food was as challenging as I thought...with no prior knowledge of writing food tickets and without ample training (any training really), I was yelled at and made to feel very small by my boss/cook. I kept telling myself that I would just try harder, I would learn after a while...but what I found was that even when I wasn't making mistakes, I was still doing something wrong (does that make sense?). The silver lining is this job made me appreciate being a teacher all the more...where communication and training is key. And instead of anxiously awaiting each shift, walking on eggshells and afraid of what I might do that would be perceived as wrong or idiotic...I quit a job for the very first time. (I have left jobs before, but for reasons like moving...never have I told someone "I quit.") So, after a full month of feeling anxious and upset about self-deprecating, my summer began.
I end this summer begin this school year with a lot of excitement, a renewed sense of purpose, and gratitude with these new experiences. I aim to give my all this year, while focusing on my own self care and gratitude rather than focusing on the things that I cannot control. I hope to come back to my roots a bit...to work more joy into each day, and to remember WHY I want to teach...not just to impart standards, but to lead in a way that hopefully inspires even one student or person in my classroom/at my school to think more deeply about race, power, and privilege, and how our nation/world operates in an inequitable way... and we have the power to work towards a more just community. This can even start in Kindergarten. I know this is a huge idea...but I aim to try at least ONE activity/strategy in my classroom that will get my students thinking about their purposefulness in this world and the impact they can have on spreading kindness and fairness to all, and finding teachable moments to address issues of inequity.
"Race prejudice is not only a shadow over the colored--it is a shadow
over all of us, and the shadow is darkest over those who feel it least and
allow its evil effects to go on." –Pearl S. Buck
The other day at an impactful teacher training about "Knowing Our Why" I created this personal statement to carry with me this school year. I aim to challenge myself and others to live for love, care, and compassion for ALL- to analyze and reflect on my own biases, prejudices, and privilege, to rethink and question the status quo in small, purposeful ways--to shatter it and work towards equity and peace.
